number 41 – [part 2]
and then one day, i bought my ticket home, in secret. and i layered it under a story “i want to go home and get my guitar”. and she said, “you're trying to escape my love aren't you?” and i said “no, i just want to get my guitar”. and she said “if you don't come back i'll probably kill myself.” and i said “i'll come back, i'll come back”.
she took me to the boat and she said: “promise me you'll come back”. “when you come back things will be different, we'll go for more walks and we'll eat food i won't spend our money on drugs”. “i'll make things different for you, all for you only for you, special you”.
and i said “okay, sure, i promise i'll come back”. and i turned around i walked down the ferry terminal and i never looked back once, i never waved goodbye never cried, i just wanted to get away, i didn't want to lie to survive anymore. i got on the boat and i breathed for the first time in 6 weeks.
i got home and i bought bandages and cigarettes and verse. i fed my body, i fed it clean air and i patched up the holes and i dyed my hair black but i never went back. I’ll never go back.